Emotional Regulation Skills
RECOGNISING YOUR EMOTIONS – A SIX STEP PROCESS
1. What happened?
Describe the situation (not the emotions) that lead to your emotions.
2. Why did that situation happen?
Identify the causes of your situation. This step is about finding out what meaning you assign to the event, this meaning will have a big impact on your emotional reaction.
3. How did the situation make you feel emotionally and also physically?
Try to identify both the primary and secondary emotions, as well as the physical sensations. (Secondary emotions are our emotional reactions to our primary feelings for example feeling guilty about getting angry, feeling ashamed for making a big deal out of things)
4. What action did you want to take as a result of your feelings? Answering this question will help you to identify your drives/urges. Often when people experience strong emotion they experience the urge to act out in some way. Sometimes you may be able to resist the urge to engage in particular behaviour, this is cause for hope, when you are able to do this in one area, its likely that change is possible across the board.
What were your urges?
5. What did you actually do/say?
What behaviours did you engage with as a result of how you felt?
6. How did your experience effect you? Can you identify any longer term consequences for your actions and your emotional process?
What short-term or long-term consequences were there as a result of your actions?